Wednesday Schmensday

Oy. I wish I'd stayed in bed this morning. Stupid flat tire.

breakfast:

• French Toast made with Cinnamon Raisin Bread, one large egg, and one egg white
  
• 2 Shadybrook Farms Turkey Sausage Links
  
• 1/2 cup syrup
  

lunch:

• 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/4 cup of apple slices, and about 1/4 cup of cream cheese fruit dip.
  

This is the bad part: I was feeling so defeated after work, that I agreed to go to Applebee's for dinner. On the bright side, we split a chicken tender platter instead of getting separate ones, like we usually do.

dinner:

• 3 Chicken Tenders
  
• 1/2 serving French Fries
  
• 1/4 cup Applebee's cole slaw
  
• 1/8 cup Honey Mustard
  

I wanted to get something off the Weight Watchers menu, but the fries were calling me, and this was cheaper. I'm feeling SO guilty right now.

snacks:

• 2 Mini Reese's
  

totals:
calories: 1932
carbs: 214
fat: 86
protein: 78

On the bright side, I'm within my range on everything except fat. That's good, right?

Tuesday Meals

breakfast:

• 1 1/2 cups Honey Nut Cheerios with 1 Cup Skim Milk
  

lunch:

• Salad with Cucumber, Tomatoes, 2 tbsp Fat-free croutons, and 4 tbsps Balsamic Vinaigrette


• Lean Cuisine BBQ Chicken Brick Oven Pizza (Yum!)

dinner:

• Liver and Onions


• 4 1/2 oz Alexia Olive Oil, Rosemary, & Garlic Oven Fries

snack:

• Coffee with Pumpkin Pie flavored creamer (crazy good!)


• 1/2 container Yoplait Light Thick & Creamy Yogurt - Key Lime Pie


• 1 Mini Reese's

totals:
calories: 1481
carbs: 202
fat: 50
protein: 65

I'm still a little under 200 calories under, so I'll eat one of my 100 cal Tapioca pudding's in a bit. I had meant to take our dogs out and run around our newly mowed yard, but it just HAD to rain today. Bah.

Random Bitchiness

I have low self-esteem. I mean REALLY low. Not only am I over 100 lbs overweight, but I'm 6-freakin'-feet-tall. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being tall, but I kind of stick out like a sore thumb. Especially when my darling husband is only 5'8".

I HATE taking pictures. I don't think I'm very photogenic at all.

Case in Point.

The picture on my profile is one of the ONLY pictures of myself that I actually like - it's from 2003 - right after my father-in-law's funeral. I've gained probably about 30 lbs since then.

And my poor legs - after spending all last summer outside with the mosquitos, my poor little legs are ALL scarred. When I'm itchy, I just can't help but scratch. I'm weak. I'm SO insecure about it. I've had people ask about it and I get really embarassed and just say that I had really bad chicken pox when I was little.

I got this Covermark Leg Magic Kit with a gift certificate that I got for my birthday, but both "light" colors that it came with are too dark for my pale pale legs. It comes off as looking splotchy. They have some "very light" that I want to try when I get some money.

With all that in mind, I wonder what I'll look like when I'm thin. When I'm feeling REALLY insecure, I don't think it'll be different at all. I'll still sweat like a freakin pig (which is an ironic saying, since pigs DON'T sweat) and I'll still have these damn scars on my stupid legs.

I know it shouldn't matter - especially since I don't have to impress anyone. James loves me no matter what - and he thinks I'm beautiful NOW. I can't help but feel like a fat ugly cow tho.

Gah - I don't know where all that came from. I was feeling fine up until I started writing.

No more bitching - I'm off to my eye appointment. Hopefully I can get contacts, or atleast switch these stupid Transition lenses out!