The ME update

So here's what I've been up to:

• Got a call from a woman at work whose name sounded familiar - turns out we were best friends when we were little! We have so much in common now, it's eerie. Woot!
• Because of my dear friend above, decided that I want to go back to school to eventually become a Speech Language Pathologist and work with a Cleft Palate - Craniofacial team :)
  
• James, erm, "coerced" me into getting Myspace and Facebook pages.
• I've seen some kick-ass bands in Chapel Hill.
• Got diagnosed with IBS - I have to get a colonoscopy in April- Ick!
  
• I had a root canal right after Christmas, and I've finally decided to say "Screw You!" to my dental phobia and finally get my teeth fixed this year.
• Oh yeah - because of my self-indulging, I hit my alltime high - 308. Bleah.

I started going to Weight Watchers meetings again last week - Woo! I think the meetings in addition to the E-tools will be REALLY helpful this time. I'm making plans and I got an awesome WW cookbook.

We'll see if it works this time around :)

Arachnophobia

Why do I have to be afraid of spiders? Why can't I be afraid of something silly like being afraid of long words?

When I got home from work this afternoon, I decided to walk the dogs around our little driveway circle and get some cardio in. I kept saying 1 more time and ended up walking 10 minutes. When I was done, I made the dogs sit and praised them for keeping up with me. I noticed what looked like a Sweet Gum Ball moving across the driveway. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was infact a spider with a very large body.

ICK!

Now, teensy spiders with teensy legs and teensy bodies, I can deal with. Spiders with big fat bodies scare the bejeezus out of me.

Since my heroic bug killer wasn't around, I ran to my car to find something to smash it with. My shoe's pretty thin - and I didn't want to chance it biting through. No way I was going to smash it with my autographed copy of House of Leaves! I checked my trunk and found my old Weight Watchers folder. Good enough!

I tossed it on top of the spider and stomped on it. I was brave enough to peek underneath to make sure I killed it and was absolutely horrified to see hordes of tiny spiders scurrying around!!! *faint*

I HATE spiders.

Great, now I'm all "buggy". I keep feeling like things are crawling on me.

Monday

breakfast:
French Toast made with Cinnamon Raisin Bread, one large egg, and one egg white
2 Jimmy Dean Fresh Taste Fast! Turkey Sausage patties
1/2 cup syrup

lunch:
ham, swiss, and grey poupon on rosemary olive oil bread (donated by my dear co-worker, since my stupid pumpernickel went WAY south over the weekend)
1 Dole tropical fruit cup

dinner:
1 serving Barilla Plus Thin Spaghetti w/ 3/4 cup Prego Tomato, Basil, & Garlic Sauce, and 4 turkey meatballs. (Yum! I'd forgotten how good Prego is compared to Ragu ;)

snacks:
Coffee with Vanilla Chai Coffee Creamer
16 oz Blueberry Iced Tea with 1 tsp Raw Sugar

totals:
calories: 1,929
carbs: 276
fat: 52
protein: 87

I feel like I'm getting into a rut with just posting my meals and that's all.

My depression is icky right now. Not HORRIBLE, so don't worry, but I'm just constantly feeling blue. I can't even put words to it yet.

Falling Off the Wagon

When you fall off the wagon, you usually beat yourself up, right?

For me, it usually sends me into a kind of a tail spin where I figure I've already screwed up - what's it matter? The thing I don't think about is that it DOES matter. It matters that I'm psychologically giving myself an out. It matters that I'm putting myself in worse shape than before. And dammit, I'm not going to do it this time!



For the past week, I have eaten SO much fried foods that I'm surprised my arteries aren't completely clogged. Fried shrimp, fried fish, fried hushpuppies, fried crabcakes, fried macaroni and cheese. Not to mention all the potato chips, french fries, brownies (thanks to my darling baker of a sister), and soda.

I'm making a stand.



It's bound to happen again, but that's alright. Indulging a couple times a year isn't nearly as bad as indulging (our should I say binging?) EVERY day of the year. I weighed this morning - I'm back up to 302, but that's alright. I'm DETERMINED to lose it again.

Life's a learning process - and I just have to learn moderation ;)

6 Years and Counting

So, we decided to forgo dressing up for our Anniversary dinner. My period decided to start the day before, so needless to say, dressing up was the last thing I wanted to do that night. I ended up picking James up right from work and going from there, since we had tons of cleaning to do before we left for the beach the next day.

We went to the Cheesecake Factory. Mmmmmm - cheesecake.

How bad were we?

Appetizer:
Fried Macaroni & Cheese Balls (Holy Crap! They were GOOD!)

Dinner:
James - Beer Battered Fish & Chips
Kelly - Kobe Beef Burger with Sauteed Mushrooms and Onions (Yum!)

Dessert:
James - Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Cheesecake
Kelly - Tiramisu Cheesecake (Again - YUM!)

After-Dinner drinks:
James - Long Island Iced Tea
Kelly - Georgia Peach (Absolut Vodka, Peach Liqueur and Peaches Swirled with Raspberries)

We don't usually drink, so this was a special occasion ;)

Ugh - I was miserable afterwards - but it was SO worth it, hehe.

Friday Eve

breakfast:

• French Toast made with Cinnamon Raisin Bread, one large egg, and one egg white
• 2 Shadybrook Farms Turkey Sausage Links
• 1/2 cup syrup

lunch:

• 1 cup grilled asparagus and red and yellow peppers tossed in olive oil
• 1 Chicken Caesar Wrap

God bless Whole Foods for having healthy stuff!

and dinner will be:

• 1 left over pork loin chop with 1 serving pork shake n bake
• 1 single serving Mott's Cinnamon Applesauce cup
• 1 cup smashed red potatoes with around 1/4 cup of low fat sour cream and chives

Ooooh, I forgot yesterday - I marinated the pork chops for 24 hours Lemon Pepper marinade. They were SO tender! I've frozen the other 2 for when I get back from the beach :)

snacks:

• Coffee with Vanilla Caramel Coffee Creamer

totals:
calories: 1,773
carbs: 256
fat: 49
protein: 85

Tomorrow - the plan is to log breakfast and lunch - and then dinner is a free-for-freakin'-all! It is our 6 year wedding anniversary, so James and I are getting all dolled up (me in my incredibly awesome dress) and having dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.

I suggested the Melting Pot, but James thought that dipping stuff in cheese and chocolate would get old quickly. It's CHEESE and CHOCOLATE! Hello!

Wednesday Meals

breakfast:

• French Toast made with Cinnamon Raisin Bread, one large egg, and one egg white
• 2 Shadybrook Farms Turkey Sausage Links
• 1/2 cup syrup

lunch:

• 1 lean cuisine pork with cherry sauce
• 1/2 cup sugar snap peas with 1 tsp Newman's Own Light Sesame Ginger Salad Dressing (I had a whole salad - but the dressing was kinda icky - so I picked the beans out)

dinner:

• Barilla PLUS Thin Spaghetti 1/8 box 2oz, 1 serving
• Ragu Spaghetti Sauce, 0.5 cup
• Meatballs, Frozen, 3 oz

snacks:

• Coffee with Vanilla Caramel Coffee Creamer
• 1 100 Calorie Pack Ritz Snack Mix
• 2 mini York Peppermint Patties
  

totals:
calories: 1,790
carbs: 263
fat: 53
protein: 69

James made me feel like a total schlub tonight by doing the 2-mile Walk-away-the-pounds workout while I was playing on the computer. Bah.

My depression is rearing it's ugly head right now, so my first instinct is to go for the food. The other day at the grocery store, I was craving something sweet - so, instead of buying something very yummy, but very bad, I dove into the bag of sugar snap peas that I got for lunch and ate half the bag on the way home. Yummy - nothing like overindulging in some veggies ;)

The Hatteras Schlump

Opinions needed, please. And let's not get into the whole bathingsuit factor.